From Zero to My Own Hero
Whether I must reject a negative feeling or accept it
Hello, everyone. Finally, I made it to write an English article again. I need more time when I decide to write an English article. Recently, I must be focused on finishing the proposal for my thesis. As a final student in the English department, it gives pressure to develop my English skills.
I face many challenges, not with others, but myself. How I treat myself, how to be brave to out of my comfort zone, how I think about the meaning of success, how I deal with my emotion, and so on.
Even though English is like my food, I’m always insecure about my skills. Because of that, I’m not confident to show my capability in English, especially speaking. During my journey in college, exactly I often overthink my mistake and underestimate my capability. If I look at my friends’ achievements, I am proud of them, but at the same time, the insecurity comes to me. I’m scared that I’m stuck in the same condition and that there is no development at all. Even, I’m scared if I show my skills, I will get rejection and critic.
In the past, I avoided rejection by I sit quietly and saying “agree” politely about everything. Probably. those are better than I have to show up to others. After a while, I feel stuck with my fucking skill and can’t do what I want. Eventually, I rethink, reflect, and evaluate the wrong mindset. One thing that my biggest problem. It is REJECTION. I’m scared too much of rejection and always avoid it. I forgot that I had a choice for myself. I’m who I’m with choices and wishes.
I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath
Scared to rock the boat and make a mess
So I sit quietly, agree politely
I guess that I forgot I had a choice — “Roar” song by Katy Perry
Day by day, I force myself to be brave and confident. If I feel afraid, I say to myself “It will be okay even though you make a mistake, you are not a sin, and you are not a loser. Face it and solve it. I believe you can pass this problem.”
When I listened to the song “Roar” by Katy Perry, it can be related to my condition. The song means that someone has the courage to determine their own destiny. That is, throughout his life, he has been silent and resigned to the situation, but in the end, the person has the courage to get out of his comfort zone and try to fight against all the obstacles that exist.
Now I’m floating like a butterfly
Stinging like a bee I earned my stripes
I went from zero
To my own hero — “Roar” song by Katy Perry
Now, I just realized that I analyze myself in the past and present, it is mesmerizing progress. Apparently, I do grow up. In High School, my English is so poor, I can’t pronounce a word well, and I can only make a simple sentence with the vocabulary that I have. While now I can pronounce better, and make a sentence more complex.
I am more grateful and confident in my strength and weakness. With them, I can learn the meaning of acceptance, process, and success. I believe if we are afraid of facing a problem, we will never know a thousand opportunities in the future.
We know ourselves better than others. We are who handle ourselves and have our decisions. From zero, to be hero. It’s okay to be zero, but we don’t stop to grow till we are being a hero.
